i feel very.. weird.

not sure why.

prehaps i'm a.. weirdo.

weird.

weird.

weird.

not sure what to say.

but.

wanted to say something.

but.

forgot what it was.

for it's just a empty feeling.

i feel. empty.

i...

i.......

i just don't know... *shrugs*

life sucks.

i just do.. not know..

don't know...

maddness..

i don't want to be anything

i just want to forget my morals.

i just want to forget the barriers.

i just want to forget... everything that is related to this world.

i want to sleep.

wtf

forever like that.

what they want to do i must do for them inmmediately what the fuck so what if you brought me up huhz.. big fuck issit why do i owe you ar why cannot do later issit cannot see i doing somethign meh everytime you got somethign i must do for your immediately meh huhz huhz fuck off man i hate life like that like that may as well end off every fucking thing on this planet with a fucking stab that would suit me well suit me damn fucking well

why everytime you all want to do soemthing must always get me to do leh huh why leh why leh very good to bully issit why always like that leh fine i'm supposed to do certain stuff ok do lor do lar but why msut NOW huh WHY YOU FUCKING BIG FUCK ISSIT HUH OH FUCK OFF!!!! NOT HAPPY STAB ME LAR FUCK MAN!!!! TALK BACK NIA SAY WHAT WHY WE RAISE YOU UNTIL SO BIG WHO ASK YOU ALL TO REAR ME UNTIL SO BIG! I'M SUFFERING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD YOU KNOW!!! I'M NOT ENJOYING LIFE OK! I DON'T EVEN FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHY DO I THINK FOR PEOPLE!!! WHY DO I EVEN FUCKING BOTHER!

THIS IS A FUCKED UP LIFE WHICH FUCKING FUCK!

BLOODY FUCKING HELL WHAT DO YOU TREAT ME AS

JUST A BLOODY FUCKING

S
A
L
V
E

YES A FUCKING SALVE WHO MUST DO YOUR FUCKING BIDING MUST DO WHAT YOU SAY

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT GO GET A DOG!!

WHO DON'T HAVE TEMPER! DO YOU HAVE THE ONLY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY! DO YOU FUCKING HAVE THE RIGHT TO CONTROL ME? ALWAYS ASKING QUESTIONS! I KNOW WHAT I AM FUCKING DOING OK! DON'T BOTHER SO MUCH ABOUT ME! I ALREADY HAVE ALOT OF FUCKING THINGS TO THINK OVER! I ALREAD HAVE THINGS THAT I WANT TO FUCKING DO BUT DID NOT FUCKING DO!!! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT ONLY YOU HAVE PROBLEM WHAT FUCKING MAKES YOU THINK THAT I AM SO BLOODY FREE TO DO ALL YOUR BIDING!!!!

ok.. cooling down.. with the aid of blasting music to my ears.

and this blog.

time to slowly cool down.

BLASTING LOVE SONG RoCk My WoRlD uP sIdE dOwN.

today.. saw alot of gals.. and guys...

at suntec.. at least see more then 6000 people.. because give out 2000 flyers.. then only like 50% take lor.. then.. got alot of walk pass lor.. then its like.. saw alot of cute gals and chio bu... some how.. totally no interest... i'm so pathetic.. i see... wah chio. then.. don't care le.. -.-" what sort of a guy am i.. reflecting on this.. i feel.. like a idiot.. who in the world would be like me.. so stupid and dumb... i'm a dumb ass...

haix..

gals don't even care to bio.. haix.. i'm hopeless..

then.. normally in school at times got gigglings.. then today work... ALSO GOT GIGGLING.. hEy HeY NO CLOWNS HERE OK... sian.

nowadays don't even feel like chatting with anyone.. except one of my internet friend who shares almost the same situation as me.. haix.. chat with him to.. let things out.. haix.. because he kinda understand me better.. haix.. feeling down.. my other friends.. sure they understand me.. but its kinda hard to tell them certain stuffs.. that i talk easily with my that friend... maybe because.. he's a good listener lols..

then.. miss alot of friends.. really misses alot of them.. all the fun.. the joy.. and the laughters... haix...

i think alot of people were kinda stunned when i came back to school as sec 4.. because i've changed quite alot..

1st thing appearance lor.. ok lar botak wasn't that bad.. the thing is i totally lost weight.. lost quite alot too.. alot of people were like oo you go diet is it? i was kind alike nothing much lar.. start of sec 4 i still can remember my weight.. 72... now.. 65-66 like that.. haix.. end of sec 3... 80....  

some even wondered what i did...

then somehow became like listen to more songs also lor...

haix.. cat. ? love songs... haix.... even now.. my playlist is all love songs.. pure love songs... that's why my friends thinks i'm going crazy.. but its like i've nothing much to say nothing much anyway.. its just like maddness.. sudden craze.. then its like i find that these songs "understand" how i feeling.. some parts anyway...

then at times quotes just suddenly came to my mind... love quotes i would call them.. i sound like a pathetic love sick idiot but.. its true.. the quotes just happen to be how i feel.. how i think...

pain/agony...